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Wednesday 5 February 2014

How often do you share your meals?

On the rare occasions that my mom, brother, stepdad and I are all around at the same time to eat, we eat together around the table. This may be quite a common occurrence in other people's homes or it could be extremely rare however in our house it is probably a good job that it only happens about once a week.

I say this not because I dislike eating around the table with my family, in fact I think it is a lovely concept and the majority of the time I love it. It is the only time that we, as a family, can sit and talk properly. However with our family, casual conversation often turns into huge controversial debates. Sometimes it gets to a point where we have eaten every last bit of food on our plates, the leftover gravy has gone stone cold and my brother has quietly left the table in an attempt to escape the debate. Nevertheless I thoroughly enjoy these types of discussions and I also enjoy eating with my family.

The most recent time we all sat together to eat we ended up discussing how culture varies from country to country and my mom explained how when she visited Nicaragua and Honduras she was offered meals from families who had next to nothing. Although the meals probably weren't the most nutritious and tasty, that food was all that the families had and so they had basically given up their entire week of food just to feed their guests. My mom and her colleagues couldn't refuse the food as it would have been fairly rude and so instead they gratefully ate the food and were offered more if they weren't yet full.

I added a point about something I had seen on the recent programme that a lot of people will have heard of, Benefit Street (If you are not familiar, it is a programme based on a street in Birmingham where a lot of the residents are on benefits). A man, Fungi, says that if he ever needs a meal he can knock on nearly anyone's door on the street and be welcomed in to have a meal with them or will give him food quite happily. So in both situations (in Honduras and on the street) people who probably don't have a great deal of food are happy to give it away to help other people.

I asked my stepdad and mom whether if someone came to the door, or if we knocked on a neighbours door asking for food would we/they welcome them in for a meal or give them food? Now the answer in some cases may be yes. Depending on whether we know the person or if your neighbours are very kind, but I know on many occasions we may turn people away, or just give them very little because we want the rest for ourselves. Compare this to the families in Honduras who gave everything they had!

A friend I know through church, Paul, told me about a similar experience (sorry I don't remember where), he and his friends were given a huge meal and after being absolutely full with food realised that the food they had been given was everything the family had. He then added that a friend of his asked him: "How many meals do you eat a week?" .... "how many of these are with company?" and "how many of these meals do you eat with people other than those you live with?"

My point is in this culture, in our westernised community, how often do we make the effort to share our meals with people?

How would you react to someone coming to your door asking for a meal? And how often do you eat with people other than those you live with?


Muchas gracias
Roxy x


Tuesday 28 January 2014

6 weeks to go..... What?!

My first blog post was entitled '6 months to go.... What?!' It seems not that long ago that I was writing it and now there are 6 weeks to go???

6 weeks until I am getting on a plane to Madrid, then another plane to Peru.
42 days left to make the most of English food, more specifically our bacon and Jaffa cakes.
6 more weekends before I go away, 1 of these will be at my orientation which leaves me with just 5 at home.
5 more Saturday shifts at Accesorize.
5 more Friday shifts at Accesorize.
5 more Sunday morning church meetings at Amblecote.


Thinking about these facts helps it sink in a bit more.... Sometimes when I think about it a huge rush of excitement runs over me and I end up having to run round the house in order to channel all that energy. I've never been more full of so many emotions for one thing. I know there will be challneges but bring them on! I genuinely can't wait!

This experience, I hope ,will be a life changing experience. Now I'm getting all emotional- everyone has been so supportive and I really will miss having the freedom to just call my friends, or walk over to my sisters house or have a night in with my mom or watch a movie with my dad and brother and going to the shop to get me some bacon and Jaffa cakes. However I will be meeting my team and making new amazing friendships with them (hopefully they will like me haha) and I will be meeting new people out there and will be able to experience new places and traditions.

I will be making the most of every single day.

Muchas gracias
Roxy x

Donation Page: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RoxannaSmith

P.s I will soon be writing post giving more specific information on what I will actually be doing while in Peru! Woohoo

Sunday 26 January 2014

In the moment

'In the moment' or 'At the time' your brain doesn't seem to function as logically or as well compared to when you are looking back on the event. Whether that is due to the pressure or not being able to think on the spot, I haven't a clue... I am pretty sure that I cannot be the only one that ends up looking back on situations and thinking ' I should have said...', 'I could have done....' 'I didn't have to....'

Just today there is the perfect example:
I was telling my manager that I was planning to leave my job, I had written the resignation letter just in case and had prepared the perfect speech.... I woke up worrying, I got on the bus worrying, I walked through busy Merry Hill worrying. What if she gets annoyed with me, what if the staff all go moody with me, what if i havent told her in time? What if? What if? What if?!?



As I waited for her anxiously, I tried to catch my breath (from dashing through the shopping centre). When she walked in and I went to do my perfect speech. No words came out of my mouth. Instead I mumbled 'here is a uhm, the uhm letter for you...'. I could feel my voice shaking and then out of nerves I started spilling out a huge jumble of words that I really do hope made sense. She got my point and was absolutely fine with my decision! She understood and although was disappointed I had to leave she was happy for me! I think I must have been holding my breath the whole time I was waiting for her full response as once she had finished talking I sighed the biggest sigh of relief.

Anyway, looking back I could have dealt with it so much more cooler and been so much more collected, I could have worried a lot less and I could have been a lot more relaxed about it. However as I said at the start 'in the moment' it is rather difficult to take a step back from yourself and think logically.

I pray that in future God will help me think more logically in the moment and help me to worry less.

Any tips on how to deal with these moments??

Muchas Gracias
Roxy x

Wednesday 15 January 2014

Step 1.

Mental illness. A subject that can create a mixture of reactions in different people.

This post isn't as happy and jolly as my others have seemed... But my blog is a portrayal of the reality of my life, not some dream world. Mental illness seems to be very prominent in the media at the moment and is a subject that has effected me. So I'm just voicing my opinion here....

Apparently depression is being over diagnosed and anti-depressants are being given to patients who don't need them. People who are just 'sad' are being diagnosed as depressed.

Apparently the people around the someone with a mental illness aren't noticing the obvious signs and so it's not being diagnosed enough.

Apparently if you are in the 'LGBTQ community' you are more likely to suffer from mental illness.

Apparently mental illness is just work of the devil. Being possessed by evil.

Apparently mental illness is effected by your social background.

Apparently mental illness is caused by over/under production of different chemicals in the brain.

Apparently mental illness is made up, people with depression are just over reacting.

Talking as a person who suffers with mental illness, and also someone who has done research on the subject. I believe that it isn't something that can be cured by medication. It isn't possession of evil. It doesn't depend on your sexual orientation, it doesn't depend on your race, social background, religion, brain size, shape or composition. Not one of these can solely be used to explain the cause of mental illness.

What do I believe then?

1) The type of illness shouldn't matter. When I say 'I have a mental illness' it could mean that I am schizophrenic, depressed,  bipolar, have anxiety disorder, paranoid.... I could go on. However I don't think this should matter. Each one has the potential to be just as bad as the other, some may be easier to hide or control but they all effect the individual in such a huge and horrible way. People shouldn't be judged if their illness sounds scarier than others.

2) I believe that there is no specific cure. Medication can control it temporarily, and counselling may help some people. To cure it I think it is a matter of believing that it can eventually be cured. For me I believe that through God, I can be strong enough to gradually get better.

3) I believe that we should be able to talk freely about mental illness without worrying about judgement. I am attempting to get over this fear I have of telling people about my mental illness. It's so scary and difficult. It's hard enough trying to face your illness never mind having to try and explain it to everyone around you. I don't understand it myself so how do I explain it to other people?

I really want people to be able to talk about mental illness without feeling awkward, or having to worry about being judged or stereo-typed. There is a reason I haven't told you my specific mental illness and after showing this post to someone they suggested I included what it is so that people don't me.... However the whole aim of this is to challenge your judgement. You judging me does not bother me the slightest, what bothers me is that people don't feel able to talk about heir illness because they are scared of being judged.

So anyway, this is my step 1 to getting better- being able to talk about it.

Muchas gracias
Roxy x

Feel free to comment or message me your thoughts :)
email: roxielou16@hotmail.com






Just a little bit of miranda to lighten the mood... Quick act 'normal'.

Saturday 4 January 2014

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! Sorry it's late....

So after a very busy Christmas and new year and a bit of motivation from friends, I am finally back to writing my blog posts again woohoo! :)

Most importantly, I hope you had a lovely Christmas and new year!

There is much to tell, however I couldn't possibly torture you by putting it all in this one post. So, for now just a mini post including mini updates, which I shall expand on in future posts!

First of all I now know I will be travelling to Peru in March, and  I will return on the 25th July. My fundraising is going fairly successfully and estoy practicando mi espaƱol (I am practising my spanish).

My Latin American quiz night went very well, and I do not know a specific amount raised however the total was just over £800! Thank you so much to everyone who came and supported me.

Also I was baptised on the 24th November which was a big step for me and I hope the start of an exciting journey with Christ!

I am so excited for this year, and although I still don't have a clue what I would like to do after I get back from Peru, I know God has a plan for me and I can't express in words my excitement for the future, whether it involves me travelling, studying, working, settling down, going through struggles, or doing something completely bizarre.

Muchas gracias
Roxy x

Donate towards my trip to Peru? http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RoxannaSmith
Email me: roxielou16@hotmail.com